(Note: This was written early march.)
Women have been the cause of a bit of trouble for me this past year. For those who don't know, a bit is a massive understatement. I have been through a brilliant combination of bad, no... terrible luck, stupidity, ineptitude, and just plain shitty circumstances have been fucked over in the general area of ten times in the past 10 months. There have been four successes, but one was a rebound, one was an "I'm never gonna see you again", the third was "This could work, so what the hell?" and the last was a case of "She's topless in my lap and I'm not really going out with that girl at school"; resulting in the disqualification of all four.
Details? Details, you ask? Hmmm... Here's a short sampler list.
Girl A) We were just about going out for two weeks- All the hanging out with no making out. And then aforementioned "success" #4 happened at a party. Which resulted in a quarter sized hickey on the high right side of my neck. And Girl A never talking to me again.
Girl I) I was on a NFTY conclave and was so caught up in thinking about how much it sucked to be me, I didn't even realize that I had been walked to my door (a situation quite nicely set up by one Emily Bauman) until I was inside and going to bed.
Girl J) "I'ma hook up with you after camp." (NFTY event 2 weeks later)-> "My ex is still buggin', and I don't wanna hurt him." (next NFTY event 2 weeks later than that)-> "Yeah... Uhmm... we're friends now."
Girl R) It took 7 months for her to remember to bust out the "good friend" speech.
Girl S) I was trying to kick it a party, when a friend of mine yelled out, "You guys can't hook up!! It's against the rules!" At which point I was left standing in the nuclear wasteland of my spot after she nuked it.